Hey, you.
Yes, you with the face.

Are you tired of the same old boring fruit being displayed at the middle of your dining tables?
Living Fruits

Do you want to experience the biggest change in your life?
Wait no longer, for you are one of the select few who have been awarded the privilege to witness the epicness of..
THE LIVING FRUITS(TM)!

These special, one of a kind fruits have personality, and faces, almost like us, humans!
You wouldn't have to feel guilty about eating the display in the middle of the table because they will SWEAR AT YOU.

Living Fruits
Would you even think twice about eating something like this?
Buy one now, and feel the most thrilling experience everytime you eat!
Call 1-800-LIVEFRUITS now and get one for only the price of YOUR SOUL.
Figures sold separately.

DISCLAIMER:
If your Living Fruits(TM) aren't surveyed properly, behaviour such as the following may occur:
Living Fruits

Testimonials
These Living Fruits(TM) are so lively! I bought
a Living Fruits(TM) Banana and it ended up
bringing me so much joy, I threw out my cucumber stash.
-HottyGurl66, 17

I can actually talk to these Living Fruits(TM) when
I'm all alone and lonesome. They stopped me
from killing myself once. They're LIFE SAVERS!
-Emo boy, 14

So bro, this product's so awesome,
I recommended it to all my bro's, too.
Yeah, bro. Srsly.
-SurfBoi, 18